I have yet to gain the guts, bear

MIA for the past few days. Blank words, big mind. Ive never been having someone in mind all this while. Perhaps, its more than one. Mrsmalleyes &yet to hear a lots of news about you from other peeps. Just so how everything was really great and high for you, Id just felt dejected way bottom in my heart, brought my spirits really down, was this just plain awkward for that to happen all over again? When Im supposed to be completely over you since the day you turned your back to me, things just doesnt fucking make sense & went really wrong. Id tried to allow time to heal the pains and drag myself off the path I once walked with you, &yet when Im really strong and hyped up on the issue Im really keen of, you laid your foot again in my life, right in front of my eyes.



The one &only way of communications Ive for you once were the eyes, that used to be the bridge connecting both of our souls. Fast enought, you got over it and dispelled every hope and wishes I had for you - to return to my side. Not a slight piece of thought, you couldve just turn away and walked off from my life &never return. The sorrow and regret pangs haunt me down, but able to regain it normality after meeting mrbigguy. Hes just fucking good with words and able to interact continuously w/o worrying out of topic to be shared of. just so what every lady would seek for in a man.



... as I was wondering was it a rebound guy after the last hooked up? Perhaps having too much thoughts in mind wasnt really appropriate, especially when mind over words. Dont speak whenever you feel its wrong. He was always there before everything turns sour. Somehow, I felt like being really protected by a brother instead. It felt strange and tad weird having you around, thus we are really better off remained the way before it is.



Had these fucking heartbreaking scenes, few years back & those aching flings, trust had gradually withered on its own, & Id not ever prepared to step into these love business again. How badly I would wish for a genie would eventually popped out from my ugly deformed teapot, & grant me 3 simple wishes.

• Make me the richest man's daughter in the world.
• Not only having the munneh, I would opt for looks and physical appearance as well. (I'll tell more if you're the genie)
• I'm not greedy, I just wish for a love elixir - a potion that heals any forms of heartbreaks.

Months passed. Bit by bit, regaining my strength &ability to be independent, standing on my own feet, you walked into my high school drama. Ive never been feeling the same after those tremendous breakups; Ive yet to know is this a crush , or was it gonna be just a simple nothing more than admiration Id for a guy?



Just so you know, Im afraid I couldnt hold up to myself anymore and allowed the feelings to act upon what I felt for you. Never been this into someone, after mrsmalleyes & mrbigguy. Ive never thought I would feel that same all over again after them, but you just brought the sparks back into my life; a whole new chapter. Mrbearbear, I do hope history are not meant to be repeated.







Yang sukakan mu

♥ Was I wrong to turn away when I had the chance with you?
Can you turn my midnight into your day? Can you be mine if I asked?

xxx