Part One

Just so little I do realized, before I could notice all these changes in myself, after these walls that I'd built against everyone that tends to enter my obscure realm; the place where I choose to spill my thoughts and let the words speak the thoughts in my head.


The tiny soul of mine wrecked a little when I decided to put some trust in someone &they will never ever failed to disappoint me. I got to be honest here, I never really be bothered to blog about my thoughts anymore, shut myself outve the world when Ive to deal with an issue, it just often cross my mind that everyone deals with their shizz, why would they be bothered about yours now, at this moment - when you're helpless and in need of just a pair of ears to hear &a warm cuddle? But always be reminded, you're nobody and nothing at all. That's when I couldn't do anything but just help myself up, lend myself a helping hand, when pillows are gonna be your pair of ears, the warm cuddle over the cold starry nights.


It's all that you can count on when things fall apart; in a way that you couldn't even tell what's right and wrong. Or perhaps, I'm just too insensitive to notice everything that happen around me. Unfortunately, when I'm too busy forking out all my attention to the wrong people, never little I do realized Ive also given most of my love to the undeserved ones; till someone has to knock some senses into my head &repeated those sentences gazillion times till it finally imprinted, a big smack in my face. How would anyone else actually defines the relationship between two souls? And what brings them together - feelings, commitment, lust, benefits, and sometimes... friendships?


Well, in my opinion of a ideal relationship, I wouldn't say anything close to perfect, but just what's right and appropriate in the definition of being in a relationship is definitely when two souls are bonded together regardless of their flaws, one might be loud and addictive while the another half, he/she could be pretty shy and less-happening. This always gets me to the saying, "Opposite attracts". My two cents do whispers silently to my heart, he does not have to be the best looking guy down the street; he could be just wearing a plain top,   any ugly-checkered pants, &slipped on a pair of flip flops, and wearing his beautiful smile. That also got me wondering what is just so attractive behind that smile, the warm-blooded skin, might just be the big heart - his personality. Not forgetting his signature hair, the fidgeting body when adrenaline rushed into his bloodstream, butterflies dancing in the tummy whenever I call out his name. How do I know all of these? Because we, girls feel the same way too when guys do that to us. Every single time, he never fails to make my heart skipped a beat or took my breathe away even the slightest gesture which practically meant nothing at all, but meant the whole entire universe to me. It's just that amazing.


Relationship requires lots of time, effort and of course, commitment. Whoever that tells commitment will come as long as you start a relationship is a plain bullshyt. It doesn't come naturally but takes up a lot of perseverance and endurance, how they tolerate &accept one &another flaws. It's not going to be easy, but nothing comes easy. Nobody would eventually appreciate this if everything comes as easy as snapping a finger. Commitment is a big word, but most people have mislead this word with the definition of forever. So, it's just merely "happily ever after, loving you always &forever". Can you see the difference, in most of how many couples that actually make it to that stage, you can kindly read this now, and do reply my post 50 years later &tell me you're still counting on with your another half. It's all about the promise that you choose to make once you start to be committed into a relationship, the trust and bond both souls built together are the one that make things last, it's hard to build them, it's even harder to maintain them.


It's time to go bed. I'll blog about the part two of my thoughts.
Goodnight. xx