I have yet to gain the guts, bear

MIA for the past few days. Blank words, big mind. Ive never been having someone in mind all this while. Perhaps, its more than one. Mrsmalleyes &yet to hear a lots of news about you from other peeps. Just so how everything was really great and high for you, Id just felt dejected way bottom in my heart, brought my spirits really down, was this just plain awkward for that to happen all over again? When Im supposed to be completely over you since the day you turned your back to me, things just doesnt fucking make sense & went really wrong. Id tried to allow time to heal the pains and drag myself off the path I once walked with you, &yet when Im really strong and hyped up on the issue Im really keen of, you laid your foot again in my life, right in front of my eyes.



The one &only way of communications Ive for you once were the eyes, that used to be the bridge connecting both of our souls. Fast enought, you got over it and dispelled every hope and wishes I had for you - to return to my side. Not a slight piece of thought, you couldve just turn away and walked off from my life &never return. The sorrow and regret pangs haunt me down, but able to regain it normality after meeting mrbigguy. Hes just fucking good with words and able to interact continuously w/o worrying out of topic to be shared of. just so what every lady would seek for in a man.



... as I was wondering was it a rebound guy after the last hooked up? Perhaps having too much thoughts in mind wasnt really appropriate, especially when mind over words. Dont speak whenever you feel its wrong. He was always there before everything turns sour. Somehow, I felt like being really protected by a brother instead. It felt strange and tad weird having you around, thus we are really better off remained the way before it is.



Had these fucking heartbreaking scenes, few years back & those aching flings, trust had gradually withered on its own, & Id not ever prepared to step into these love business again. How badly I would wish for a genie would eventually popped out from my ugly deformed teapot, & grant me 3 simple wishes.

• Make me the richest man's daughter in the world.
• Not only having the munneh, I would opt for looks and physical appearance as well. (I'll tell more if you're the genie)
• I'm not greedy, I just wish for a love elixir - a potion that heals any forms of heartbreaks.

Months passed. Bit by bit, regaining my strength &ability to be independent, standing on my own feet, you walked into my high school drama. Ive never been feeling the same after those tremendous breakups; Ive yet to know is this a crush , or was it gonna be just a simple nothing more than admiration Id for a guy?



Just so you know, Im afraid I couldnt hold up to myself anymore and allowed the feelings to act upon what I felt for you. Never been this into someone, after mrsmalleyes & mrbigguy. Ive never thought I would feel that same all over again after them, but you just brought the sparks back into my life; a whole new chapter. Mrbearbear, I do hope history are not meant to be repeated.







Yang sukakan mu

♥ Was I wrong to turn away when I had the chance with you?
Can you turn my midnight into your day? Can you be mine if I asked?

xxx

When Zac turns beanie

Ola!

I have not been keeping up to track with the blogosphere these days. Geee, Adele archuleta got her own domain while I was surfing and blog hopping this afternoon, just to find out there are actually many great potential bloggers out there. Oh my, lets skip for updates!





20/07/09


Ahmoiku joined us for biology tuition that day and had this really weird feeling in Cekap. Could have be the post-traumatic stress disorder probably. Anyway, the weather was really terrible and I simply hate public transports, mind you public bus especially. Although it was not as packed compared to KTM during the peak hours(sardined), still you could sense something is just so wrong, the mood and atmosphere. Was grumbling on my way to the bus stop & I aboard the bus as it stopped in front of me, on the very right corner of my eyes, spotted a really cute looking gud in his twenties, dressed in a pink polo tee and a white frame glasses. Right, he does looks charming at the first sight, kay? Just so it happened, I sat next to him, since there's only two seats available, next to cute guy & an Indian lady. His eyes are so mesmerizing & has this super high nose bridge. So, at least, I'm feeling contented larh when he turned and gave me a smile as I purposely have my bottle next to me and accidentally knocked his arm. FML, his smile enticed meh ):

Reaching the next stop, about my destination, his phone rang. He took out his chio blackberry from his side pocket, and gave a chuckle, picked up his call.

"Hello, sayang!"

I was stunned and rooted to my seat for the past 3 seconds after listening to that phrase. Chills ran down my spine. OMFG, my mouth was wide open and couldn't imagine that's just what slipped out from his tongue. Not because of what have he just said, but the slang he used and emphasized his 'sayang'.


He sounded so geih!


He has this typical mother tongue slang(He's a Chinese, judging his conversation) and rojak-ed with some sort of Teochew dialect, if I'm not mistaken. Plus, his hand movements added up to assurance of the sight. Honestly, I can't believe my eyes & ears.

Imagine manly Zac Efron with Mr. Bean's voice, in the comedy, doing the Paris Hilton's pose.






I can't stop my fingers but to ring the bell & got myself quickly off my seat & the bus.
This is when we called, "Never judge a book by its cover."


Arrived tuition but did not bothered to spill the entire story to girlfriends because I'm sure it would be a laughing stock throughout the class. Hell-embarassing larh!
(I'm so gonna laugh at this again!)





21/07/09 & 22/07/09


Had four papers in a day. Screwed History and Additional Maths papers. Physics was quite an easy one, managed to apply the formulae without much effort & got so fucked up with Chemistry. Pissed & mad at myself for not doing any revision the night before. What else heh? Biology was the toughest among all. Simply clueless of what the heck is the whole paper about & snoozed off during the paper. English, essential subject is always an easy task, but heck Ivan mentioned to us, we did that paper in previous classes but turned out to be sheets that we have never come across before.


Stayed back for chess club since this is the last meeting for my senior year. Have been a really inactive member beginning of the year because tad lazy to stay back for some chess game sessions. Went to Elaine eniale's house with ahmoiku, lazing around before getting back to school. It's comfortable to rant our hearts out in Elaine's crib & them, having their 2xminyak-minus-a scoop-ofrice. *inside joke*


Reached school a minute late & nearly got ourselves into some sort of awkward scenes & finally, Shu had her very first and last attendance of the year in Chess club member list.





24/07/09


A teacher fall off her chair & have been the hot topic in the entire fifth formers, maybe the staffroom too. I've heard from 5B, she was napping in class and suddenly one of the legs of her chair slipped, and poor lady fell to the ground. BUT, she made a big fuss out of it.

Perempuan sarat mengandung dan jatuh dari kerusi.

She cursed the students in that class, saying they did not bothered to warn the teacher that the chair was broken and claimed it was just plain disrespectful of them doing so. Just so before that scene took place, the teacher before that period, mentioned to her "Kerusi tu dah rosak." yet, that statement most probably slipped off her mind, as she's such an 'enthusiastic' teacher. She hardly gave a damn to that & sat the chair.


Conclusion : She fell for the very first time in my 5 years of high school, no pun intended





Hey I would love to say more but I gotta go.
xoxo; loves.




P.S : Just so if you come across my blog, Mr. Pink Polo Tee, honestly you really have to improve your communication skill.