what if

Sometimes, reality just hit right back onto my face whenever I have these thoughts about you, and us. The days we get to spend together are so numbered and little, it's the least from what we can both expect from one another. Is this what we worth fighting for all this while? It's amazing how you melt me during the conversation we both shared, food and delicacies we feed one another, stupid spanks and tickles we had, and of course the anticipating moments we both treasured within that one week. I do hope what I'm looking for is just right the one lies behind that face, I need the heart that combines perfectly to mine. Boy, get me right? It's not gonna be easy.

Happy 7thmonthsary, boyfriend ♥

7 months and still counting on.

Long post ahead :D

Terlalu lambat

It's been quite some time since I last blogged. When was the last time I really sit down and pinned every single of my thoughts down eversince I came back from Sarawak? When was the last time I really regain my normality in full mode? When was the last I being the party animal among my clicks? When was the previous period of time I really let myself out? How did all these changes took place when deep inside me I hadn't have the chance to even look back after all the changes made in within these few months time?

Love my lashes? She zoom zoom zoom to snap my big face! fml

I used to be so dependent on someone, my family and my friends but something inside me just changed. No longer, lively &the outspoken me, nosy and chatterbox (or maybe I still do poke my nose in certain issues larh) but still, I hope everything will just back to the same old time. As close to what I really hope for and what I need, I just need to be alone from all these shyts happening in my days. I guess, the people around me would even notice these tiny changes slowly engulfing my very own behavioral acts and the way I took charges of my decisions. I'm just so insane.


Movie marathon was awesome, the only way to kill all emoness and symptoms of depressions. It's just so splendid when you get to spend time with great people when you're at your lowest point. Trust me, that's just the only way to kill the emo-monster inside you.

Candid

Had time-to-time chilling out sessions with the girls, but no photography sessions with the chicks, can't help it when my camera was sent to the shop; got it back recently though! And life is nothing w/o photography. Celebrated Minyak's birthday at Michelangelo’s Ristorante, SOHO KL. Happy belated birthday, Aryl! (Appreciate this belated post) He brought along one of his friend; a Sabahan. Awkward and I tagged along Missysa after work, rushed all the way to her place after I simply grab a shower and skipped my pilates class. The biggest joke of the day was, we were lost in Mont Kiara and took a ride around the housing area because none of us know the way back to our place! Ahahahahaha, but the gathering was awesome; Meiyin was there with here Fuji instant camera. Seriously, I wanna own one and all blames shall goes to Meiyin because it was fucking chio!

Aryl finally becomes legal 18! (;

For some time, she's so busy working till she finally came out and join us 

Polaroid makes people go flawless! Madness

Missysa and Kiefy 

Kangaroojoey and yourstruly

Raya Day 2 was very unproductive as well. Headed to Perak and got home by late noon; camwhoring with the lousy sister in the car during flow of journey. I typically rot at home, feeding my fats most of the time. Damansara-Ipoh-Tambun-Kampar all in a day, would've laid my fat ass right on my couch as soon I allowed my eyelids rest.

Picture perfect ♥

I felt like killing these emo bugs in me now. I relent to what soever that just take charge of my feelings now, don't try me when I'm at my lowest. Feeling so helplessly tiredly thinking insight of what's gonna happen next gave me butterflies in my tummy.
Can you tell me you ♥ me as much as I do now?

Shall end the post with a very pretty picture of us♥♥

I know it's wrong to steal ; but...

I did. Oops

I read it somewhere somehow somewhat in Tumblr, and come across again in Facebook; Hweeyee stole it &now again from Shermaine's blog. I'm gonna steal and post it here. Personally, I find this relates to most people here, including me. Tell me your decent opinion if you think I'm wrong.


Love is a funny thing.


You expect it to be easy.


You expect it to be a world of roses and laughs and perfect moments that you find only in movies.


You expect her to always say the right thing, and always know exactly how you feel, or exactly how to react to it.


You expect her to calm you down when you're yelling or to chase you when you run away.


You expect so much that you feel entirely, and utterly defeated when something doesn't exactly match up with all your plans.


But that's the thing. Love isn't a plan. It doesn't have a certain beginning and it certainly has no end or visible finish line to those deeply in it. Love happens; it is so incredibly messy.


People around you can't comprehend why you do the things you do, or why you fight so hard for something that seems to cause you so much pain, because simply, they can't see. They can't see the invisible ring of insanity that surrounds you when you're in love.


It's inconvenient and painful and devastating at times, but we can't live without it.


What you don't learn is how hard love is. How much work it takes. How much of ourselves we have to put into it. How it isn't worth it until we are complete and utter idiots about it.


Love isn't her calming you down when you yell. It's her yelling, just as loud, just as hard, right back at you, right in your face to wake you up and to keep you grounded.


It isn't her/him bringing you roses everyday or cute things that make your relationship appear more presentable. It's after a long fight, that drains the life and bones right out of you both, and yet her showing up at your door the next morning anyway.


It's not her saying all the right things or knowing exactly how to handle you. So no, it's not her caressing your hair and telling you everything is going to be alright. It's her standing there, admitting she's just as scared as you are. You have to remember that with love, you're not the only one involved. You've unknowingly put your life, your heart into the palms of another persons hands and said, here. Do what you will. Mash it into mince meat. Or forget I ever handed it to you.


As long as you have it. It makes us crazy. It makes reality invisible and it erases all the lines that we shouldn't cross.


Because love isn't about fencing ourselves in; feeling safe, feeling sure about the future.


It's about scaring the shit out of every nerve in our body, but pushing forward anyway. Because all the fighting and all the tears and all the uncertainty is worth it. And it's a hell of a lot better, than being 100% happy without someone to show us that there is a world of a difference between feeling 'happy' and feeling whole.

Long hiatus

I finally got the stuffs I want all the time.

Camera, checked.
Netbook, checked.

I promise a real update soon. My days and moods were on a roller-coaster ride this entire months. Bear with me, please?
*BIGWETEYES*