Like a broken CD, her heart skipped a beat

I knew its down to few hours till your first day of hitting 17, another year closer to legal age. I had so many thoughts about you, simply much enough to fill up the entire concrete pillar of feelings, mate. We'd been friends since primary days, &'ve never slipped past my mind, we would be standing this close right now, babbled our hearts out every opportunity we had.

HAPPY SMEXY TUJUH-BELAS AHMOIKU!

Never appealed to me in just a blink of eyes, we just walked off from the childhooddays and slowly bypass teenagehood, stepping in young adulthood. Flashing back, we used to be those typical teenie-boppers over-fantasized on those sick love novels and reading cute thick Enid Blyton's storybooks. I wouldn't condemn any of her books as it's really interesting for peeps at our age, at that point of time &now, the obsession outgrew us and changed from time to time.

You developed and changed a lots compared to those days. As for in the present, you tend to be more responsible to your own acts and words upon every consequences you might had to bear. But afterall, you'll just stood right next to me, clinging on every breathe you could take for struggles you had to face. It's just a tad whiny sometimes when it comes to conversation between us, typical nature of yours! Don't worry, hun.

 

Facing countless obstacles in every hardships and nasty breakups, you always ought to be the stronger one, although how bad it feels like, you always carry them on your shoulder, all by yourselves and totally acknowledged the presence of us, the bud. That's what friends for, act upon your pillar of feelings, sink every deep thoughts in our hearttohearttalk session.

Walking down the memory lane, I remembered the numbers of call in the endless nights, had these big really dark circles and eyebags, sleepless nights when I just had to simply get on with life. How motivational your words are & simply remained every unspoken thoughts in my mind; real clearly. We always do have some unconditional psychic for one another in times and under certain circumstances we couldnt agree to disagree.

Redang was one of the best-est period ever, we could really spent those moments the max, & giggled every stupid stunts and poses we made, never appeal to me what's wrong with those days till you finally have someone in mind. It tortures your inner soul & break you apart. How hard it felt like always have to be one of the pain memories you soon gonna erase.

Looking through beautiful album, countless snaps we took, are often just so happened that it's just random in mind. Mind you, in each &every picture simply framed the beautiful bizarre thoughts in my mind of how I felt about you & our friendship.

& simply admired my photo-snapping skills *big wide grin
You know how well I do

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Kawan baik selamanya, Mic-chilli!

Next,


1.Besides your lips, where is the favorite spot to get kissed?
Cheeks

2.How did you feel when you woke up this morning?
gawddamnit, it's raining again & postponed my driving class.

3.Who was the last person/people you took a photo with?
the very last time I stood near to one was about weeks ago.

4.Would you consider yourself spoiled?
sometimes, but I would gladly be one.

5.Will you ever donate blood?
yea, needles hurt.

6.Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?
yes, of course.

7. Do you want someone to be dead?
no one in mind so far

8. What does your last text message say?
Want come my house?

9.What are u thinking right now?
I wanna shower so badly.

10. Do you want someone to be with you now?
YEA!

11.What was the time you went to bed last night?
2.25 a.m.

12.Where did you buy the tee you are wearing now?
I got it from my cousin

13.Is someone on your mind right now? .
No

14.Who was the last person who text you?
CX

TEN Lucky person to do this quiz...
1. Shermaine
2. Edward Tan
3. Yuhjiun
4. Keith
5. Michelle
6. Nixolie
7. Florence
8. Tze Han
9. Marcus
10. Yee En


15. Who is no. 2 having a relationship with?
With no. 3

16. Is no. 3 a male or a female?
Female

17. If no. 7 and and no. 1 get together, would it be a good?
World War 3

18. What is no. 1 studying about?
Chemistry, I don't know

19. When was the last time you chatted with them?
#1 - last thursday
#2 - weeks ago
#3 - weeks ago
#4 - yesterday
#5 - yesterday
#6 - weeks ago
#7 - yesterday
#8 - yesterday
#9 - days ago
#10- yesterday

20. Is no. 4 single?
Yea, he is

21.Say something about no. 2
 Footballer & madly in love with his girlfriend

22.What do you think about no. 2 and no. 6 being together?
Yuhjiun is so gonna be pissed!

23.Describe no. 9
He's horneh

24. What will you do if no. 6 and no. 7 fight?
I'll stay still

25. Do you like 8?
Yea

He's the new  ♥

Its down to one day finally.

Am totally screwed for this examination

I'm fucking scare pulak, FML.

Gawd, I need to retreat to my desk.

Byee

Always remember that the pain of holding on
is greater than the pain of letting go.

Can we bring yesterday back around?

Totally overwhelmed with every scenes that took place after one another.





Try to say it's over
Say the word goodbye.
But each time it catches in my throat
Your still here in me
And I can't set you free
So I hold on to what I wanted most
Maybe someday we'll be friend's forever more
Wish I could open up that door


Now here it comes, the hardest part of all
Unchain my heart that's holding on
How do I start to live my life alone?
Guess I'm just learning,
Learning the art of letting go


Hooked up to this song for the entire day, I couldn't believe I'm tuning into this song for the past 13 hours. Seriously, she sang pretty good!



Next,


Happy Smexy Tujuh-Belas Fiona Eleanor!

I've no idea when did you privated your site, and hardly get to know the happenings. However, I'm sure your life is still so fabulous and smelling great! Good luck in upcoming trials and three months-noted SPM papers!


See, I remember your big day girl!

kthxbai

Edible roots and leaves

Felt upset entirely on everything. Gawddamnit, I deserve a break. Really, do I?


These holidays are definitely not an option, undergo the pains and missings I had without school, yes definitely schoolsick for now. Getting way beneath my inner souls, had these thoughts about you again, mrbear. I hope you're feeling great, at least better than I do.


Moving on, it's someone's big day!

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Jeng Jeng Jeng!

Happy Manis Enam-belas JiunJiun, the super nice girl-next-door!




I knew it havent been long we came across each other, but we got closer by every footsteps we could after what we've been through together, every hardships and these deep thoughts we always have in mind, hesitated which pathway shall we take. Grab every chance when we could be alone, having these hearttalks session, wondering how far could everything goes. But both of us, combined; recreate miracles, that we could have never imagine & successfully put down everything in the past and walk out from the gloomy days. Those were the days, you cried, shed & poured for the one you loved. It's different now, you giggled every minute now &then, telling me how wonderful &awesome your life is.




Those moments we spent together in class, the dirtiest joke I cracked to you, ridiculous poses we made, aimless shyt we would just talk about when we are just having each other in company. You're just so beautiful the way you are, be strong and appreciate of everyone you have around you. I knew this would might be a tad too sentimental, I'm glad I found you!


Sahabat selamanya, Jiun.




We are always do silly stunts, unexplainable theory when we're paired together, watch out!
& now, I'm jiun-sick! wtf






I need to go to bed, xoxo



P.S : I'm just kidding sweetheart, I do miss you as much as I hate celeries. Everyone knew how badly celeries could hurt meh, ouch!

You kno I do

Hi




Sorry for neglecting my blog really long. Could've just spend some time in front of the computer instead of hooking up with more soap operas. TVB dramas are just too addictive. Nothing much recently, life has always been fuckin' hectic and dull to me, as usual which I could hardly find an amazing description for it.


Saturday was hell boring today, expected though the school would be pretty empty and shorter queues in assembly ground &canteen too! ♥ Fruits and more fruits made my day, while Elaine eniale & ahmoiku are having a dilemma today. They even wondering should they or should they not spilling out the truth that weve been hiding from everyone all this one? Would that make any difference or changes in between them or was that going bring them together with just some words? We certainly hope for the positive changes! :)


Sad thing, we are eventually having a difficult time in class. Shall talk about this some other time, lets' just focus back into one main topic. Oh ya, Ive not mention it yet here, before and certainly not my sense of blogging to write about my family. Anyway, shall this reach your ears &eyes not, I really hope for your forgiveness & pray for every goodness you need& want. I knew you have been really sick of my persuasion in every fetish I longed. Immature brat, called me that & I couldve never bother to admit till the one you fell really ill right before my eyes. Being such a ungrateful child, it has never come across my mind, the only pillar of strength whenever I fucking faced any harm &evil. When I said he did, he really meant it with all his heart, protected his only teenage daughter, struggled to get her piercings done, and nearly got the family involved in an accident in the midday - raining cats and dogs. Vain & demanding traits in the past has never been this obvious in my dictionary, perhaps I aged a little too much nowadays & yet to discover more how obnoxious I was to my own family, and the mighty man. He's all I could depend on, emotionally & physically. I really felt his words, his pain when I babbled those hurtful words to him whenever I flashed back now and then - how that tearful sight turned into another unpleasant memory in his early-fifties.


It was really a month of strange events, bizarre and rather frightening. Before I could stop & think the next plan, I can't help myself from slipping into a pot of problems. There's this fucktard in school messing with me, and my fuckin' marks are decreasing rapidly. This dude, I shall not say he has no sense of responsibility because I felt he certainly is doing his job, but to no avail, he should have bloody trying to achieve his quota by just randomly picking on people - smaller size than him & fucking copied their names down. Do you have some bloody sense of logical where you should have eventually enlarge your fuckin' sepet eyes & see how bloody high up have I pinned up my fringe? Or shall I give you a hand if you need that so badly?


I just cant understand how did my high school days turned traumatic when I tuned into seventeen, it's just a blink of eye. I could still remember how mighty and huge the school was to me when I was a junior in school. The peeps were so tall and humongous when they walked pass me, felt as if I'm one of the seven dwarfs in Snow White's cottage. (Yes, I live in my very own fairytale) Plus, I would be totally clueless to wander aimlessly and roam around the school compound when that school is at least 3 times bigger than my previous school. I loathe the feeling of being block headed in this totally unfamiliar surrounding.


Not only I felt really belittled, everyone seems to be at the their top of the world, & therefore excluded this tiny one from every outing list. FYI, I miss those days in middle school, a lots!





23/08/09


Supposed to attend some sort of creepy talk with mom in but screwed up when none of us bothered to wake one another in the morning. AHAKS, mom said it's fine not attending and went out for breakfast instead.

Healthy meal

& I couldn't be vainer than before, camwhored a little, sulked with my parent's behavior & a Methuselah, he was fucking rude and big time snob. He spat right in front of my eyes and gave me the stare of a perverted psycho. Screw you, spoil my beautiful morning! Have some sense in mind, sicko. If you do read my blog, please be sure you don't park your car anywhere nearby I stood. OOPS





Pardon me for being a tad overboard on camwhoring :D

Weee, it's school holidays again, the final before my big day. Shall talk more some other day.
Need to run, xoxo!

Love is like a Rubix Cube, there are countless numbers of wrong twists and turns, but when you get it right, it looks perfect no matter what way you look at it.

Big and long vs hornchy

Hello;
















've settled down for my trials coming up, weather had been a really bad stifling one.
Updates, here we go!





03/08/09




Freaking Monday gotten the glitz of the entire week. Something really bad happened in the morning & have no idea how did that affect my mood for the whole day. In another hand, the newly-appointed juniors were finally showing their true colours, after a graceful period of being the bad asses. Honestly, most of them misused their role. Let's just take this for an example, there's this female prefect had massive grudges towards the peeps in our class, & same goes to us. Neither one of us is in good terms with her, because she's just simply a wannabeh. Just so the other day, she shouted at us in front of everyone after she got her post. Hello, everyone knew what are you up to, lady. Plus point, the prefectorial board this year was in a big mess. The nice responsible ones are getting the lower post, while those unreliable or shall I call them irrelevant ones got their way high up. Wtf, I'm just so not gonna agree with this. Oh yes, part of this spoiled my mood for the day too!


Skinny Ysababy fetched me to tuition today. *big wet eyes* Well, it's not the first time but still I'm so touched you made an effort to pick me up that day. I didn't wanna get too mushy here, but thanks babe. Biology was kinda boring that day with the lists of chromosomes & someone nearly fell asleep. Hah! You should thank me for keeping you awake. Physics tuition was a good time(at least for my day), because Elaine eniale & I practically chattered throughout the class. Having these dirty talks & evil plans for someone's birthday. (Oh, excluded th-dirty talks for the birthday.)
Dad has been really ill.





05/08/09


Something big happened to ahmoiku & she's really happy for that. Why heh? Because she simply loves the sight of it, right mate? Finally she stands the chance after a long period of time but everything does paid off really well. Elaine eniale finally getting her certificates done when those sixth formers-in-charge typed her identity card number wrongly. Coincidently, her sister's one too! Perhaps, they're playing a prank on you. After school, supposedly teman Eugene to meet birthday girl in her shop. Well, I'm sorry Mei Shen. If you read this here, I'm really sorry for not joining you guys because I'm simply afraid I couldn't catch up with my transport in time, I'm sure you did have a great time in other ways.



Happy belated Smexy-17 manja Mei Shen!
I hope you did have a big time the other day!


We reconsidered & changed the plans at the very last minute, went to Elaine eniale's crib for some chill out sessions instead, have been like the typical routine in every week. Ahah, apart from that, we walked out to get some food & desserts. Her pale brown dog has been really naughty that day, that horneh-jantan.




Reached home in time, dad went to hospital for checkup. So basically was napping till evening & sister came home from tuition. Mom was with dad and left us with some dishes for dinner. Reports are not out yet, and had a family movie, The Grudge. Its fucking creepy larh. Ironically, I expected that to be less creepy but more disgusting. Most of the scary movies directed by Westerners include blood and flesh, but this one turned out to be more Ju-On like. Long black hair flowed down the floor, big wet red eyes, distorted mouth & big nostrils are often the creepy images in the movie possessed, but blahh.. I freaked out when the creature opened its mouth, FML.

Edit : I just found out The Grudge is the replay of Ju-On. Wtf





06/08/09


More peeps in school are wearing masks nowadays. Ain't that creepy? Supposed to get some pills from the clinic with mom because I passed out easily in this few days, but dozed off after taking the flu medication, sorry mom.




Went Chemistry class & bumped into Elaine eniale on the way to centre. Omar and Shermaine giggled in class, having their jolly time talking behind, & teacher proceeded his lessons really fast, which Elaine eniale and I could not even catch up with his pace. Night class was uber unpleasant. All credit shall goes to Kah Wai, th-one with bad communication skills, failed to signal me there's a fugly bug on my sleeve & screamed in the class. It happened in a blink of eye, he touched my arm with an evil grin on his face while I tilted my head to his direction, FUCK! That fugly disgusting crawling creature was few cms away from my face and it's not going away. He shrugged it off and landed on my seat. Smart one, and nobody willingly offer to lend a helping hand. Anyhow, thanks John! Dad's condition worsen.




07/08/09


One word, bored to the max. Was damn tired and exhausted that morning, due to the late sleep I supposed, hung on the phone with Kray last night & koed at 1am. Wanted to skip school so badly but my merit marks are decreasing so rapidly, screw that lousy system. Chemistry in class was tad interesting, at least I'm not yawning in her class & we were late for class for History. Basically, we went down for recess late today ; Ahmoiku & Elaine eniale were taking their sweet time finishing up their meal, precisely Ahmoiku.


School ended finally, say hello weekends. Hung out in the foyer a little while, it transformed into a total Chinese district. Honestly, the kids there were shouting at the top of their lungs, Chinese foul languages, unsightly hand signs and they doesn't seem to be bothered of everyone around them. It's the school for heaven sake, leave those etiquette for mamak scenes & be considerate enough to maintain some mannerism in yourself, when you're in a SCHOOL.




We could hardly stand anymore the temperature & surroundings, we proceeded to the wakaf, babbled and we nearly cried our lungs out, chatting away the experience we gonna gain if we get to bring them together. We really wish that it would come true for what you wanna have, mate & we'll make it possible, trust meh.





08/08/09

Just so I realised it's 08 August heh! Olympic 2008 fell on the same day and it just so reminded me how badly I aged. Ugh, today was kinda hunky-dory. Parents are being nice & went on a search for a suitable driving institute for meh, after dropping sister in tuition. The rest were merely staying at home, checking out my mails, getting some sleep, and exploring more blogs. Glad to be at home though, the recent feedbacks on haze are getting way hyped and I could barely see Twin Tower anymore from the highways, outside of my house. Home sweet home, on the bright side - I'm least exposed to deadly flu virus and hazardous contaminated air.




In the top my to-do list, I'd yet to complete all my karangans and supposed to submit them before the trials, but clearly the laziness had engulfed me once again. FML, there's so many to be done; completing Additional Mathematics' exercise, removing my nail polish, doing the laundry, getting a hair treatment, visiting the cinema. Plenty of works to do, but only little time I could accommodate for all of them. (Stop being a windler, screw it!)




Hell yea, dad got me some of the unusual bananas, fucking thick and long. For the typical purpose, aids for my never-ending constipation business, it taste awfully bitter. Now I started to wonder, are those bananas for real? *shrugs* My daily schedules turned haywire when mom made a big fuss of my serious malady, for not having any bowel movements for two weeks. She made me consulting a doctor about my deep shyt anus-malfunctioned & got laxatives, plus those Chinese herbal bitter drinks. FML, mom even threaten sending me to the hospital if my condition persists. Wtf, it's not like larh I'm stopping the excreting process right? Argh... Enough of shit. Lets move on.

:D look what Ive found

The good old jolly time Ive with mates, some baking session in ahmoiku's crib last week. It was awesome how things worked between us & those giggled moments we had. Let's bake again someday! I've changed my boring layout, cheers! ;D





xoxo,

it's sure as the floor 'neath my toes
and somehow not surprised
that i was superimposed
somehow in this life

I have yet to gain the guts, bear

MIA for the past few days. Blank words, big mind. Ive never been having someone in mind all this while. Perhaps, its more than one. Mrsmalleyes &yet to hear a lots of news about you from other peeps. Just so how everything was really great and high for you, Id just felt dejected way bottom in my heart, brought my spirits really down, was this just plain awkward for that to happen all over again? When Im supposed to be completely over you since the day you turned your back to me, things just doesnt fucking make sense & went really wrong. Id tried to allow time to heal the pains and drag myself off the path I once walked with you, &yet when Im really strong and hyped up on the issue Im really keen of, you laid your foot again in my life, right in front of my eyes.



The one &only way of communications Ive for you once were the eyes, that used to be the bridge connecting both of our souls. Fast enought, you got over it and dispelled every hope and wishes I had for you - to return to my side. Not a slight piece of thought, you couldve just turn away and walked off from my life &never return. The sorrow and regret pangs haunt me down, but able to regain it normality after meeting mrbigguy. Hes just fucking good with words and able to interact continuously w/o worrying out of topic to be shared of. just so what every lady would seek for in a man.



... as I was wondering was it a rebound guy after the last hooked up? Perhaps having too much thoughts in mind wasnt really appropriate, especially when mind over words. Dont speak whenever you feel its wrong. He was always there before everything turns sour. Somehow, I felt like being really protected by a brother instead. It felt strange and tad weird having you around, thus we are really better off remained the way before it is.



Had these fucking heartbreaking scenes, few years back & those aching flings, trust had gradually withered on its own, & Id not ever prepared to step into these love business again. How badly I would wish for a genie would eventually popped out from my ugly deformed teapot, & grant me 3 simple wishes.

• Make me the richest man's daughter in the world.
• Not only having the munneh, I would opt for looks and physical appearance as well. (I'll tell more if you're the genie)
• I'm not greedy, I just wish for a love elixir - a potion that heals any forms of heartbreaks.

Months passed. Bit by bit, regaining my strength &ability to be independent, standing on my own feet, you walked into my high school drama. Ive never been feeling the same after those tremendous breakups; Ive yet to know is this a crush , or was it gonna be just a simple nothing more than admiration Id for a guy?



Just so you know, Im afraid I couldnt hold up to myself anymore and allowed the feelings to act upon what I felt for you. Never been this into someone, after mrsmalleyes & mrbigguy. Ive never thought I would feel that same all over again after them, but you just brought the sparks back into my life; a whole new chapter. Mrbearbear, I do hope history are not meant to be repeated.







Yang sukakan mu

♥ Was I wrong to turn away when I had the chance with you?
Can you turn my midnight into your day? Can you be mine if I asked?

xxx